


Oh, to be mortal!

by Apollo_is_my_DJ



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Apollo is kind of a wuss, Dentistry, Dentists, Hurt, Nico hates people, Toothache, Will is a good son, but also who actually likes the dentist, it's been forever since I read Trials of Apollo, nico is lowkey an assistant, solangelo, will is a dentist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24655984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apollo_is_my_DJ/pseuds/Apollo_is_my_DJ
Summary: After spending time at Camp-Half Blood as a mortal, Apollo is forced to undergo a quintessentially mortal experience: a dentist appointment.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 16
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

When Will heard the cries of agony coming towards the infirmary, he half expected to see a camper coming in with a limb missing. He did _not_ expect to find a panicked Apollo marching up to the front desk complaining about ‘his imminent and painful demise.’

Will glanced at Nico, who was behind the front desk, looking like he couldn’t decide whether to laugh or pull his sword out and pommel-whip the ex-sun god.  Will cleared his throat and Apollo’s head snapped in his direction. 

“Will!” Apollo ran towards Will, grabbing his shoulders abruptly and shaking the young medic frantically. “You must help me! My entire skull is _throbbing_ with a truly unbearable pain. Now know how Zeus must have felt when Athena sprang out of his head! You have to help me.”

A switch flipped in Will’s head, shifting from slightly-weirded-out-son to concerned medic. He gently grabbed Apollo’s hands, removing them from his shoulders and leading him towards an empty cot. 

“Sit down,” said Will. “Can you describe the pain? Is it stabbing, throbbing, pulsating?” 

“ _All of the above!”_ Apollo cried. 

Nico chuckled, attempting to cover it up with a cough when Will shot him a glare. Apollo was a bad enough patient on his _own,_ he didn’t need the snarky son of Hades to make things more difficult. 

“Okay,” Will sighed, trying to think through the possible reasons why Apollo might be having such a severe headache. “Was it hurting all day, or just when you went outside? Because it’s really hot out today, maybe you just got a bit too much sun, or-“

“You think the _god of the Sun_ could get _too much sun_?” Apollo moaned. 

This time, Nico couldn’t help but laugh, ducking behind one of the cloth partitions to avoid another one of Will’s signature bitch faces.

“Oh, to be mortal!” Apollo continued. “The gods must be laughing from Olympus watching their old companion wither away from his own domain!”

Will mentally checked ‘heat exhaustion’ off his list of possible causes.

“Is there _anything_ you can think of that might help me figure out why your head hurts? I can give you some painkillers or ambrosia, but I’d rather know what’s causing it before I start giving out medications.”

Apollo let out an exasperated sigh. “It hurt’s all the time! It hurts when I go to bed, when I wake up, it hurt _horribly_ while I was eating my eggs this morning and-“

“-while you were _eating?_ ” Nico raised his eyebrow. 

Apollo nodded, and Will and Nico exchanged a glance. Nico gestured to his mouth, miming biting down on something and Will nodded before turning his attention back to the distressed ex-god in front of him. 

“I think I know what it is,” Will sighed. “It’s time for you to have your first ever dentist appointment.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay, when this is over, we need to have a _serious_ discussion about your dental hygiene.”

The scene was undeniably strange. Will, wearing his aqua surgeons shirt, cutoff shorts and a face mask,  was sitting on a rolling stool peering into Apollo’s mouth, while Nico sat off to the side with a small suction hose. It might have been funny if the teenager sitting in the reclined chair didn’t look like he was trying to hold back tears.

Will used his gloved finger to pull back Apollo’s cheek, tapping away his teeth. He tried to hold back a sigh when he felt Apollo start squirming under his touch, realizing he had hit _another_ sore spot. Will didn’t want to say he was grossed out - being a combat medic, he had seen much more gruesome things -but the situation was definitely not great. Apollo had a few rotten teeth that Will could see immediately when the ex-god opened his mouth, and Will hadn’t even taken an x-ray yet. 

“Did anyone teach you to brush your teeth after you…you know, became mortal?” Nico asked, suctioning a bit of spit out of Apollo’s mouth. He had essentially become Will’s personal assistant in the infirmary as of late. 

The ex-god garbled through a mouthful of metal instruments. “I’m sorry.” He rolled his eyes at the son of Hades. “I had _other_ things on my mind, like you know, falling from grace and being chased down by a bunch of psycho monsters.” Apollo shot Nico a glare as Will continued scraping away at his teeth. 

“Geez, calm down dude,” Nico replied. “I’m not saying it’s your fault, I’m just asking. My hygiene sucked too before I started staying at camp year round. Dead guys aren’t exactly the best at reminding me to brush my teeth.”

Will smirked. “Oh, I _definitely_ remember your first check-up.”

“Oh, because it’s _my fault_ that dentistry didn’t peak in the 30s.” Nico rolled his eyes, though he felt his cheeks heat up. 

“I’m just _saying,_ Neeks.” Will chuckled to himself.

The three settled into a somewhat tense silence. After a few more minutes of tooth-scraping, Nico draped a heavy vest over Apollo’s body while Will prepared the x-ray films.  Apollo had to resist the urge to bite down on Will’s hand out of annoyance. He wanted to make clear how much he _despised_ being in such an awkward, vulnerable and otherwise ungodly position, but he figured that the only thing that would make this experience worse would be if he bit his son for trying to help. 

Shortly after, Will returned with some black and white images and told Apollo the exact _opposite_ of what he wanted to hear.

“You have 5 cavities.”

Apollo’s face paled and Nico let out a whistle as he rummaged through the cabinets, grabbing little packets and stray instruments. Nico had had his own share of cavities, but even he thought 5 at once was kind of a lot. 

“Nico and I are going to fill them all right now because I can almost guarantee that you will _never_ willingly set foot in here again once we let you go.”

Apollo nodded in agreement. “You can count on that. This has been utterly _embarrassing,_ not to mention painful.”

“Lucky you,” Will chirped. “I am about to fix that.” 

Behind the dental chair, Will was inserting a canister of lidocaine into a syringe and uncapping it. He brought it over to Apollo’s side and his eyes softened. 

The thousands of years this guy had lived meant nothing right now. In this moment, he was another scared teenage boy who was all alone. Will had half a mind to set the syringe down and give his dad a hug, but he focused on the job at hand.

Will rolled behind the headrest of the chair so Apollo’s head was practically in his lap. He used his left hand to retract his cheek and slowly guided the type of the needle into his mouth. 

Apollo didn’t seem to notice when the needle went into his mouth, but as soon as Will pressed down on the plunger to administer the liquid, Apollo began to squirm in the chair. He tried to close his mouth, but was frustrated when the bite block stopped him. 

“No topical this time, Solace?” Nico questioned, grabbing some supplies from one of the cabinets and setting them down on the tray next to Will. 

“We’re all out. I used the last of it on Percy. I ordered some more but it probably won’t get here for a few more weeks.”

“Now _that_ was an appointment I’ll never forget.”

Will chuckled, shaking Apollo’s cheek as he administered the last of the anesthesia. “Poor dude _hates_ the dentist. Honestly Neeks, I don’t get _what_ you saw in him.”

Apollo relaxed a bit when Will took the needle out, but he shook his head in protest when Will reloaded it and brought it to his side again. 

Will sighed. “I’m sorry, Apollo. I know it sucks but if I don’t do this then it’s going to hurt like crazy when I use the drill.”

Apollo’s eyes went wide. “ _Drill?”_

Will silently cursed. He probably shouldn’t have said that. He glanced around the room and remembered the nitrous oxide that was tucked behind the counter. He quickly shook his head. He’d heard stories of drunk Apollo and figured the last thing he needed was to have to babysit his teenage dad while he stumbled around drooling and singing Beethoven’s _Fur Elise_ acapella. 

“Would it help if Nico held your hand?” Will offered. 

“I’m sorry, _what?”_

Apollo looked at Nico suspiciously before nodding quickly. 

Nico gaped. “You’re _joking._ ”

“Sorry Neeks,” Will chuckled. “The patient is always right. Besides, it’s good bedside manner.”

Nico rolled his eyes so far back into his skull that Will was worried they might get stuck, before grabbing Apollo’s hand in his own. The son of Hades made a silent pact to murder _anyone_ who spoke of this moment. 

Will just chuckled. “Aw, my dad and my boyfriend are bonding!” As Will went to inject the final needle, he couldn’t tell which of the two boys looked more uncomfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm vain so lemme know what you think in the comments lol. Lowkey might continue this beyond Apollo is anyone is interested.


	3. Chapter 3

Apollo felt the drill move to another tooth. If he had been counting correctly, which he was pretty sure had been given there was little else to do, this was the last one. 

_Thank the gods._

He was still holding onto Nico’s hand, who was forced to suction awkwardly with one hand while occasionally handing Will miscellaneous tools. As much as Apollo didn’t want to admit it, holding Nico’s hand _did_ make him feel better. 

“Alright Apollo, we’re almost done with this part and then we’ll be near the end.” Will pressed the drill a little further into Apollo’s tooth before turning it off. 

Apollo visibly calmed when the infernal _whizz_ sound and strange vibrating sensation finally stopped. He watched with apprehensive eyes as Nico handed Will a canister of what looked like cement, before finally relaxing into the surprisingly comfortable reclining chair. 

At least _this_ tool wasn’t sharp and mechanical. 

Will chuckled to himself when Apollo closed his eyes, glad for both their sakes that this whole thing was almost done.It was only a few more minutes before Will was poking Apollo on the shoulder, announcing that they were finally done. 

“Thank the gods!” Apollo cried, dropping Nico’s hand and leaping out of the chair so quickly he nearly smacked his once-divine head on the light above the chair. He starting poking at his numb cheek“I will never be doing that again.”

“Promise?” Nico said dryly. He clenched and unclenches his fist, trying to get some blood circulation back into his fingers. Say what you want about the god of the sun, he had a strong grip. 

Will smirked and pulled off all of his protective equipment. He crinkled his nose at the smell of burned tooth dust and made his way towards Apollo, who was still wearing the paper bib. Will undid the clips and gave Apollo a friendly punch on the shoulder. 

“You survived your first dentist appointment! Congrats on being one experience closer to being a true mortal.”

Apollo rolled his eyes and continued poking at his numb cheek. As if he needed to be reminded of his status as a mortal.

“I pity you humans, having to frequently suffer through such _agony.”_ Apollo bit his bottom lip slightly, probably going for a pouty look but failing because of his numb, droopy face. 

“C’mon,” Will protested. “It wasn’t _that_ bad! And besides, you only have to go through that if you don’t take care of your teeth. Most people just come in for a check-up once in a while which takes like two seconds.”

Apollo didn’t look convinced, and Nico was leaning on the cabinets smirking and being otherwise unhelpful. 

“Ugh,” Will groaned. “Fine. We can be done here. I feel like I should teach you how to brush but quite frankly I’ve had enough of this whole experience for one day.” He gestured vaguely around the small infirmary room, which was now cluttered with discarded packaging and tools. “I’m just going to tell Kayla to teach you tonight because she spent the day at the beach and deserves some torture.”

Will scratched the back of his neck. He was pretty sure he was forgetting something important. Drilling teeth for hours on end was bound to do that to a person. 

“I feel like I’m missing some sort of sage wisdom but I really can’t remember. Neeks?” 

“Uh, yeah…” Nico mumbled, obviously caught off guard. “Don’t bite your lip and only eat once you can feel your face again.”

“That’s right, thanks, Nico. Apollo, I can see you literally _dying_ to get out of here so, um, get lost I guess.”

Apollo practically ran to the door before turning back towards the two teens boys and giving them a shy, lopsided but otherwise sincere smile. “Thank you, boys. This was terrible but I suspect that wasn’t your fault. I question why you ever wanted to undertake such a task or how you came to be educated in this profession, but well done." 

“Um, you granted me knowledge after I prayed to you for help because like six campers needed their wisdom teeth out at the same…And he’s gone,” Will trailed off as he watched his father’s retreating figure. 

Will raised an eyebrow before shrugging and going to stand next to Nico. He grabbed Nico’s hand and rested his head on the younger boy’s shoulder. Nico rested his chin gently on Will’s blonde curls before letting out a breathy laugh. 

“So who was worse, Apollo or Percy?”

“Oh, _definitely_ Percy. No question about it.” Will smiled. “Though, Nico from like a year ago would give him a run for his money.

Nico flicked Will in the ear, causing the blonde to flinch away laughing. “Okay, okay, you weren’t _that_ bad. Though I will say, you’re turning into quite the little helper. You might as well become my hygienist already.”

“Your _what?”_

“Highness!” Will laughed. “I _definitely_ said your Highness, the Ghost King.” Will scampered across the room, ducking behind furniture to avoid getting hit by the cotton rolls that were being thrown in his direction. 

“Mhmm,” Nico replied, trying to sound tough but failing to conceal the laughter that was bubbling inside his chest. “That better be what you said you _annoyance_.”

Will snuck around the chair and hugged Nico from behind, pinning his arms to his side. Nico tried to free his arms, but Will was stronger than he looked. After a moment of awkward flailing, Nico managed to turn around some was facing Will. 

“But I’m _your_ significant annoyance, right Neeks?” Will asked, planting a kiss on the tip of Nico’s nose. 

“Yes, you are dork.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very bored if you haven't already guessed! Also, this completely descended into Solangelo and I have zero regrets


	4. Author’s Note

Thanks to everyone who read/commented/left kudos on this fic :) I randomly wrote this because I had an idea and didn’t think more than like 2 people would read it. 

If anyone is interested, I just published a new fic. It’s Solangelo (lol suprise suprise) but will deal with some heavier themes. It’ll be different than this one, but if your interested check it out and maybe leave a comment? I’m trying to become a better writer and could use all the feedback I can get :)

Anyways, thanks again for reading!!


	5. I've got you, Seaweed Brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy's sweet tooth gets him in trouble. He's a little insecure.

Nico was sitting in the Hades cabin listening to music and generally enjoying his downtime when he noticed a shimmering mist next to his bed. 

“What do you want, Solace?” Nico groaned, yanked an earbud out of his ear and turning to face the incoming Iris-message. 

“Hello to you too, Neeks.” Will chirped. “I was wondering if you could come down and play dentist for a little while?”

Nico’s ears turned red. “Oh my gods, Solace. I told you to _stop_ calling it that.”

Will grinned. “What would you rather me call it? _Medical role-play?_ What about _unlicensed tooth-helping?”_

Nico leaned out of frame in a vain attempt to hide the embarrassment he was feeling. He caught his breath, leaning back into frame, trying to suppress a smile. 

Fine, you made your point.” Nico conceded. “But can’t you justget Austin to help you?”

Will rolled his eyes, drumming his fingers on the counter in front of him. “Clarisse and Connor got into another fight, so he’s got his hands full for the next little bit. Please Neeks, can you just come? Your favourite patient is in today.”

“Oh my gods _, again?”_

Nico arrived at the infirmary just in time to watch Annabeth manhandle her boyfriend up the stairs. 

“Hey Nico, just in time.” Annabeth gave him a small wave before steering the son of Poseidon, who was very clearly trying to escape, towards the entrance. 

“No kidding,” Nico smirked. 

Annabeth had one hand on the back of Percy’s neck, guiding him forward while the other hand restrained both his arms behind his back like a pair of handcuffs. When the two reached the doors, Annabeth nodded her head towards the front doors, silently asking Nico for help. 

“Yeah, for sure,” Nico replied. He bounded up the steps and pulled open the doors, receiving a grateful nod from Annabeth and a scowl from her hostage. 

“You suck, Nico,” Percy deadpanned. 

“And apparently you don’t brush your teeth,” Nico retorted. “Weren’t you _just_ here?”

Once they were through the doors, Annabeth let Percy wiggle his arms free, but she kept a firm grip on his shoulders. 

“I _was_ , which is why I don’t know why I have to come back,” Percy whined, turning towards Annabeth. He bit his bottom lip in a pouty expression, which worked for all of two seconds before Annabeth flicked him lightly on the cheek.

“You’re here because I’m sick of listening to you whine about how your face hurts,” Annabeth replied calmly. 

“I _never_ said my face hurts, although it does now after you _flicked me._ All I did was point out that my cherry coke was abnormally cold.”

“And your ice cream, and your fruit…”

“And your iced coffee,” Nico offered unhelpfully. 

“Ugh,” Percy groaned, throwing his head back. “You two are the worst, and my teeth are _fine_.”

“Then you shouldn’t have a problem with me and Nico having a quick look?”

“Holy Hera!” Percy jumped, backwards, a hand over his heart. “Maybe announce yourself next time, Solace.”

Will walked over to Nico and put a hand on his shoulder, smiling. “I’m good. I like to scare my patients before they come back. Keeps things interesting.”

Percy’s eyes narrowed, and he gently pushed Annabeth so she was standing between him and Will. 

“Oh, so I’m a human shield now?” Annabeth raised an eyebrow, earning a sheepish grin from the son of Poseidon. She tutted in mock disapproval. “I expected more from you, Seaweed Brain.”

She stepped back and grabbed Percy’s hand, dragging him towards the back of the infirmary as the two bickered good-naturedly. 

Will and Nico intertwined their fingers and followed them back. 

“Aren’t you glad you came?” Will whispered. 

_Hero of Olympus my ass._

That was Nico’s only thought as he watched Annabeth corral Percy into the dental chair like a toddler. 

In the brief walk back to the examination room, Percy had made three failed escape attempts, the third one earning him a nice welt on the head from where he smacked himself on the counter after trying to duck Annabeth’s grasp. 

When they finally got him to sit in the chair (which took a good ten minutes), the fight immediately left his system and he sunk into the padded recliner, grabbing blindly for Annabeth’s hand as he tried to ignore the various types of equipment scattered around the room. 

After a bit of protesting and some otherwise immature whining, they managed to take some x-rays, which Will was examining while Nico finished cleaning Percy’s teeth. 

“You know, most people get their teeth cleaned every few months, not every few weeks,” Nico teased, scooping a little more bubblegum toothpaste onto the polisher.

When Nico had first started helping Will out in the infirmary, he was _extremely_ uncomfortable. He had been new to the whole physical contact thing, and he felt like he was too incompetent to be of any use to anyone. 

Now, a few months later, he actually felt strangely at home. He was surprisingly adept at using the various tools, and he and Will had become quite the tag team. Not to mention being forced to interact with injured campers had helped him to improve his people skills. 

When he was done, Nico removed his gloves, trading places with Will so the medic could go over Percy’s x-rays. 

The son of Poseidon was dismayed when Will informed him that he would need two fillings. 

Percy’s cheeks flushed. Annabeth gently kissed his hand as Percy covered his mouth with his free hand, closing his eyes for a second. 

“I’m not trying to be this disgusting, I swear,” Percy mumbled. He glanced awkwardly to the side, trying to avoid eye contact with the faces hovering above his own. “I actually do, like, own a toothbrush and stuff.”

Annabeth smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. “I can vouch for that. It’s a purple Finding Dory one.” 

“I believe you, Percy.” Will patted his shoulder gently. “Some people just need a bit of extra help.” Percy visibly relaxed, dropping his hand back down beside him and giving the son of Apollo a weak smile. 

“Yeah, okay. Let’s do this thing.”

Will grabbed a mask and gloves, peeking into Percy’s mouth briefly with a mirror while Nico readied the supplies. The son of Apollo chirped on happily about nothing in particular, knowing that his mindless chatter always helped to soothe Percy’s nerves. 

Nico plopped down on his own stool, grabbing another pair of gloves and handing a little canister of purple gel over to Will. 

“You’re in luck, Jackson,” Nico announced. “We just got a new shipment in today.”

“Literally,” Will laughed, grabbing a cotton swab and coating it in the jelly. “My dad came in a few days ago and we were all out. The poor guy was not happy…Open up for me, Percy.” Will tapped Percy’s lips and rubbed the goop along the gums near a few teeth. 

“Is that why Apollo was running around telling all the young campers to brush their teeth?” Annabeth asked with a laugh.

“Ever the observant one, daughter of Athena.”

Will disposed of the cotton swab and Nico placed a heavy syringe in his hand. 

“Okay Percy,” Will said softly. “Why don’t you go ahead and close your eyes for this part.”

Percy immediately clamped his eyes shut, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. When he felt like he was ready, he opened his mouth. 

Will brought the syringe towards him, whispering calming praise at how well Percy was doing, while Annabeth rubbed circles into his hand with the pad of her thumb. When Will pressed down on the plunger to administer the anesthetic, Percy’s free hand formed a tight fist on his lap and a few ragged breaths escaped his lungs. 

Nico felt bad for the guy. He could take down an army of monsters by himself without breaking a sweat but put him in the dentist's chair and it was like the world was ending. Not that Nico didn’t totally understand the feeling, it was just kind of humbling to see that the great hero of Olympus was afraid of something. 

“You did so well, Percy,” Will chirped, setting the needle aside on a tray. “The worst part is over. Now, we’re just going to give that a minute or two to take effect, and then Nico and I will fix you right up.” 

Percy poked his cheek, giving Will a soft, lopsided smile. 

While they waited, Will made the mistake of asking Annabeth what her latest project was, launching her into a rambling speech about flying buttresses and paladin window arches. While it sounded interesting, it made little sense to anyone except Annabeth, and after about five minutes Will had to politely cut her off so they could finish Percy’s fillings. 

She blushed, “Sorry, I could go on like that forever.”

“No kidding, Wise Girl,” Percy mumbled, his voice faltering. He did _not_ want to get his teeth drilled again. 

“You got this, Jackson.” Nico handed Will the drill and grabbed his own suction wand. 

Will readjusted the overhead light and brought his tools towards Percy’s mouth. “You okay if we start?”

Percy waved his hand in front of his mouth for a second, indicating that he needed another minute. He inhaled deeply and let it out through pursed lips, repeating this a few times until he felt settled. 

“Hey…Annabeth?” Percy’s ears turned pink. 

The daughter of Athena smiled and scooted her stool until she was sitting directly beside her scared boyfriend. She grabbed both of his hands in hers and placed them on his lap, giving them a reassuring squeeze. 

“I’ve got you, Seaweed Brain.”

“Okay then. Do your worst.”

Percy opened his mouth wide, squeezing his eyes shut. Will and Nico took turns praising him for his bravery before positioning their tools in his mouth, getting to work.

Percy never stopped gripping Annabeth’s hand like a vice, but he was in this position frequently enough to know that when he was in the infirmary, Will and Nico would always take good care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like I couldn't leave it hanging without including a Percy chapter, so here it is! Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> I've got a few more chapters coming, lol idk if anyone will actually read this.


End file.
